Stupid Slurper. What the Shirley Temple is your problem? There is not one ounce of liquid left in the bottom of that 304-ounce Dr. Pibb. Give it up buddy, it’s a desert at the bottom of that wax cup, you’ve successfully drunk your way to Diabetes. Yet you continue to vacuum the bottom like an anteater on ecstasy.
Why? Why do you subject our ears to such a horrendous hum? Do you wish us harm, do you wish us pain, do you wish our ears to bleed like a heavyset cheerleader on her period? Because you ain’t scoring any more Slurpee, Sanchez. All you’re doing is annoying everyone in your vicinity like a eunuch air-raid siren set to 11. How about you just give up the dream and go find yourself something that can’t be ingested through a straw, maybe a loaf of bread, a cantaloupe, perhaps a Turducken? Just stay away from soup, because if we catch you setting your slurping sights on a cup of New England Clam you’re going down, red coats styles.
But don’t fret SS, because today’s your lucky day. You continue your Hoover act double time, and we’ll ensure you get to slurp through a straw for the rest of your life. With sponge baths too!
Sometimes people are still really thirsty? I’m sure you have slurped before out of a need for more liquid. Do you ever wonder sometimes, “I just spent two dollars on something that leaves me still thristy?” Everyone is poor because of the economy we don’t like having to face the reality that we have to buy ANOTHER drink.
Lol, this is the first one in ages that made me laugh