Some evil is cold and calculated – god’s insistence that our private parts sag, Megan Fox’s insistence on fucking Shia Lebeouf – but, the most dangerous kind of evil is that which requires no brain at all. Enter Spencer Pratt. No, wait. Enter Jellyfish. No, enter Spencer Pratt as Jellyfish.
Point is, nothing ruins a trip to the beach like an invisible alien with no bones puking venom into your bloodstream just as you’re about to put the finishing touches on your Neverland Ranch sandcastle (previous post the obvious exception). And as if the humiliation of crushing the miniature sand Macaulay Culkin wasn’t enough, now you have to stare at some stranger’s sunburned cock as he pisses all over your leg, which hasn’t happened since ‘N Sync played the Metro Dome in ‘95.
If you ever miraculously spot a Man O War posing as a diaphram, first check to make sure it’s not a used magnum condom. If it is, scoop it up with your shovel and chuck it at Negligent Pube Groomer. If it isn’t, give the little fucker a taste of his own medicine with a pleasant mid-morning golden sun shower.
They’re creepy looking little bastards. I think they deserve it for that alone.
Could be worse, you could be in Australia (or most of the south pacific). Try punching a box jelly, or an irukanji, trust me, theyre gonna punch BACK…with 1.41 gigawatts of pure AGONY to your nervous system, that if you’re very very lucky won’t kill you.
I’ve got some stories…*shudder*
sunsabitches!!!
Those sneaky bastards. I can’t believe it took 190 posts to give them the once over.