People try and get away with a lot of shit these days: not paying taxes, excessive drug use, selling the Illinois junior Senate seat. And most of the time we’re OK with it.
What doesn’t fly, is the d-bag who thinks she can get away with bringing 36 items through the express line. Ignoring the giant “12 or less” sign, like O.J. ignores the law.
Well guess what? We’re onto you “Express Checkout Cheater”, we see the extra 16 Ramen packs you have hidden under the milk, even if the cashier doesn’t. And if you think we are going to sit idly by, while you abuse the leniency of Whole Foods, you have another thing coming. Shit’s about to get real.
So the next time you’re in line, 64 items over the limit, you better watch your back, because there is a good chance someone is going to try to turn your Mellon into fruit salad.
Interesting article you’ve got there. Thanks a lot.
Ferienpark Urlaub
The one time that pops into my head is when I went to the store and headed over to the express checkout lane with my 4 items. Just as I turned the corner to go in, I noticed a Hispanic woman with a cart OVERFLOWING with shit (enough for her family of 15). She had already loaded 20 items onto the belt, there was no turning back.
yeah i used to be a cashier at a grocery store where we had the “10 items or less” registers…and it just killed me every time some douchebag came in my line with way more than ten items…i can understand if it’s a slow day and my line is empty and you have maybe, say 15 items or so…but then there are those people who think they’re fucking special or something and come through with a cart just overflowing with nonsense. First, I would just stare at them and then I would staring looking back and forth from their cart to my “10 items or less” sign until they got the hint that they weren’t going to be rung up at my register…
[...] חסר לכם חלב ולחם בבית. אתם מחליטים לעצור שניה בסופר בדרך הביתה, ועל הדרך מוסיפים גם לקנייה איזה שישיית בירות ושקית גרעינים שחורים. מרחוק אתם קולטים שכל הקופות עמוסות בישראלים שעושים קניות לשבת, ולכן אתם הולכים לקופות האקספרס, אבל שם מחכה לכם הפתעה לא נעימה – כל האנשים לפניכם נכשלו במתמטיקה ולא יודעים לספור עד 10, כי אחרת קשה להסביר איך זה שבמקום 10 מוצרים יש לכל אחד מהם חבילה שלמה של קניות שלא תבייש משפחה שלמה רעבה לשבוע. האבסורד הגדול הוא שאם הם יקלטו אתכם מסתכלים להם על העגלה הם יתקעו בכם כזה מבט כאילו אתם האשמים בכל הסיפור (לקטע המלא). [...]
MarkDM, your bro needs a punch in the face for being a dickweed.
A couple of decades ago, my brother and I went to the grocery store in search of just two items, each of which was a case of beer. We set our two cases of beer in the cart and headed to Checkout Land. “The express line’s a little longer, but it might be faster,” I said. “Whaddaya think?”
He looked at me and with a straight face said, “We have 48 items.” Still makes me laugh.
These people simply don’t understand the meaning of the sign. “12 or less” doesn’t make sense when counting items – what are items now measureable like a volume of water?
“12 or fewer” would be straightforward.
In Australia, they got rid of those insults to English grammar and have replaced them with the much more sensible “Baskets only”. Who cares if you have 13? The idea is that you are not buying two months of rations for the extended Klumps family.
Bob, that’s why you deserve to get punched in the face.
What about the Check Writer? You know, the person we all have to wait for while the cashier verifies the check . . . and then as if that’s not bad enough, they then have to enter the check into the register and balance the checkbook right there.
In these days of check cards, there is no excuse.
One time at the grocery store, I had a pretty big cart-ful. But the express line was empty, so the cashier told me it was fine to just come over. Of course, as soon as she starts ringing my groceries up, a lady with about five things gets in line behind me. Then this lady starts making comments to her daughter (about five years old). Like “It’s going to take us a while to get out of here, sweetie. We’re behind someone with a LOT of groceries.” Stupid passive-aggressive bitch. So I called her out on it. I looked her right in the eye and said “The cashier TOLD me to come over because this lane was empty. If you have a problem with it, just TELL me. There’s no need to teach your daughter to be passive-aggressive.” Stupid bitch.
Maybe you could add passive-aggressive assholes to your list of peoplewhodeserveit.
Rich, you seriously do that? That’s awesome! I wish I had them cojones.
This is a pet peeve of mine. I believe that if everyone just followed the rules, the world would be a better place. (Not in everything of course – 65 mph is for suckers and if you’re smoking weed and not hurting anyone, whatever.)
I just bring one of my children and explain that the other 12 are hers!
I like to go through the express checkout with way more items than the “limit” just to piss off the people behind me that get worked up over something as petty as how many item I’m buying.
I tend to be far more direct. I tap the cheater on the shoulder and nicely ask which 12 items of the many in her cart is she going to buy. Public embarrassment is a powerful correction.
This definitely irks me. Seems that the self-checkout machines have helped, though. I use them all the time!
When I’m behind a Checkout Cheater, I usually start peering over their shoulder and counting their items out loud… after around 12 or so they get the subtle idea and move onto a standard checkout lane.
If I ran things, any scan over the limit would trigger a trapdoor under Express Checkout Cheater.
This one is, by far, my favorite.
“…like O.J. ignores the law.”