You know this bitch. She comes out in the rain. Flourishes in it actually. Blossoms. Because that’s when she gets to take out her giant umbrella and poke innocent people’s eyes out in the street, without even the risk of apprehension. Then she picks them up and puts them in a jar and counts her ‘catches’ at the end of the day.
The original “Menace to Society,” this deviant thrusts through crowds without any of the consideration of a law-abiding umbrella-yielder. No lifting for on-coming traffic, no lowering for the abnormally tall – just straight up hooking and jabbing. And all under the safe haven of her vinyl shield.
Connecting with No Umbrella Etiquette’s face can be tough. So get creative. Whatever method you choose, just make sure you let it rain.
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on behalf of all NUELs, im sorry. i, personally, will try to do better when walking through crowds in the rain. i’ll get plenty of practice too since it’s going to be raining through the weekend here :p
Jehovah’s got an “h” at the end.
I have done the train-fender trick mentioned above. Except I thrust my arm a little pro-actively outside necessary range, reversing the game in the hopes of knocking off one or two umbrellas-outta-hell. No luck so far, but I keep trying.
And then they have the gall to walk under the awnings forcing everyone else out into the non-covered sidewalk. The nerve of these people.
Oh god, the absolute worst are those asshole guys that use 5′ wide golf umbrellas and combine it with I’m too important to move it out of your way. So I today I just angled my umbrella under his and when we hit umbrellas, he got splashed with my rain water. Tough luck sucker!
These women (and blokes who use umbrellas too!) are bloody dangerous. Its good to shout at them if they almost take your eye out.
Half the time they dont realise they are doing anything wrong because they are in their own sory little world.
I say they should have an umbrella tax and compulsory insurance the same way car drivers do, so anyone injured by their umbrellas can claim off them!
At 6′4″” I understand. When I lived in New York, it seemed that a great many umbrellas – and not just women’s umbrellas – bobbed along at approximately the level of my eyes.
Failure to raise or tilt one’s umbrella as we pass others on the sidewalks is more than simply rude. Self-absorbed bastardy is nearer to the truth. Decorum prevents me from elaborating.
In self-defense, when I spotted one of these incoming unconscious bastards, I simply raised my forearm to a vertical position and held it about 6″” beside, and in front of, my head. My forearm thus deflected the offending umbrella away from my eyes as I walked by, without my having to move my arm at all.
Always worked for me.
No Umbrella Etiquette Lady? I thought they were just called “New Yorkers”
Just push her umbrella aside and walk right past. She gets wet and you enjoy the revenge. Besides, she’s invariably way too little to do anything about it while grappling with her huge golf umbrella.
i hate this woman. she insists on walking slowly side by side with her prick of a partner “No Umbrella Etiquette Guy” and in doing so blocking the entire footpath. I can’t get by. I have to run onto the street to get around them!
8:30 in the morning, herding out of times square station, and this bitch can’t even take the time to wait till she’s out of the clustered stairwell before she opens her umbrella, assaulting five or six people in the processes. I just want to steal the god damn thing! Her soaked like a wet towel would be much more rewarding than a black eye. Actually, maybe I’d need one to get the other.
The worst is when water from someone’s umbrella collects and dumps onto you. If you ask me no one should be using umbrellas. We don’t walk around with any other props. Uppercuts would work fine. Billy Blanks taught me that.